As a relatively new wine hobbyist, you’ve received every sort of contraption imaginable as gifts from family and friends, right? Or maybe you’re an experienced and well-funded aficionado who has gone all-in with your fermented fruit obsession and procured a menagerie of gizmos for yourself, hoping to amp up your wine game to elite status with the latest and coolest experience-enhancing armaments.
Gazing upon such a varied array of vinous hardware, you’re filled with satisfaction for the tools you have on hand — while still positively brimming with FOMO for the ones that have so far eluded acquisition. Your social media feed torturously overflows with glittering advertisements for the hottest new grape gear. Trending shows on the small screen feature characters wielding proprietary wine instruments and catchy decanting methods in what has become a green-eyed, Hollywood-fueled, cork-dork arms race.
It’s high time for us all to hit pause and take a deep breath — because the vast majority of wine professionals would like to have a word with you.
The reality is that while many of these shiny toys are indeed functional toward one end or another, they are also thoroughly and exasperatingly superfluous. And some? Well, some are just outright nonsense — including an ubiquitous and universally familiar standby found in all too many homes.
(Don’t worry, we’ll get to it.)
In reality, it turns out that all you really need, and all that pros themselves use in most professional and personal settings, is a quartet of classic essentials.
